Look, I know I'm not perfect. I need a haircut, shave, and to improve my Sears-level wardrobe.

But I'm also not a complete looser. Once I stop fearing you, I can engage in some wonderful conversation. I know a lot about getting pulled over by police officers. I know a lot of funny anecdotes about old people. I've got some great bike-riding stories(well, they're great if you like riding bikes at least). And I can even discuss books, movies, and recent events. In fact, with these skills I'd say I'm WAY above par, once you get over the ugliness.

So if any of you would like to get it on, give me a call.
763-458-9654

thanks for your time.