It's been a while since I put up an update.

So-this is what happened this weekend. Mostly what happened at my party.

Friday: boring. I took out some chicken to defrost, I ordered a keg, cleaned my place a little bit. Went to the gym, then feel astleep by 10:30. Good clean living.

Saturday: more exciting, kinda nervous. Kinda naked. By 4:00 I was kind of worried no one would show up as I discovered that weekend was SJU homecoming. But Joe, Matt, and I managed to get all our alcholic friends to come out. In all, about 20 people. Plus my sister and one of our childhood friends came out. For about 3 hours people were content with talking and drinking and complementing me endlessly. Then at about 10:30 people decided they wanted to go swimming. Needless to say, most people forgot suits. So a couple guys borrowed some of my shorts. And the girls swam naked.

(Dear Penthouse:)By 11:30, everyone was swimming naked. On a related note, one of my friends girlfriends said that I was bumped up a number on the whole "backup list" because of my ugh, natural gifts. After that we went to perkins, I had a shake and I was in bed by 1:00am

Sunday: The bitch upstairs came down to yell at me by 10:30 or so, I talked to the caretakers and they couldn't hear anything. So I don't really give a crap. And I ended up going to my parents house, watched Ken Burns' "Civil War" on PBS, fell astleep, ate some wild rice soup, laughed at the Vikings, and then fell astleep again.

and then I woke up and came to work.

I just got back from the Who concert-lets just say I really enjoyed the show.

But I'll say I really dislike the Excel Energy Center. The place just seems to absorb sound...plus we were so far away.

I'll also is a disappointment for me about the fans. Way less jumping around than other concerts. Most people just sat around or just stood up. Of course, the layout of the place hurts movement so that's understood.

more info in the morn

I got in at 7:30 this morning...so I'm going home right now.


I love being able to leave before six. I can take a nap so much earlier.

I should note that I didn't really go up and talk to her during our near-meeting. Just saw her.

I should also note we did part on pretty good terms.

And if I have several "templates" of girls that I like (you know, types of girls I like) she was one of them. She was a runner, she was smart, she was nice.....you get the picture.

This weekend was a good one-and if it could have two themes, they would be:
1) Perkins is at it's best between 2am and 5am(spent Friday and Saturday nights there with Joey and Matt)
2) Is it ok to call someone who hasn't seen you in like, 5 years?

Theme #1 hardly needs explaination...if you roll with the K-Dog you already know this to be fact. There ain't much better than the fly early am Perkins waitstaff. They be as hot as their griddles.

But theme #2 does. Ok-in high school there was this girl I knew....we dated senior year of high school and I tried to keep in contact with my freshman year of college till it just got too hard. Well, I'm pretty sure I saw her this weekend, for the first time since then. And damn. She looked exactly the same, seemed to act the same....everything about her I liked was there. Anyways. This makes me want to call her up. She's listed(in fact it's the same number as in high school). Is that cool, or just kinda stalkerish?

I'd appreciate some counsel.

with my new lamps, which I'm really excited about by the way I've been doing a lot of ebay window shopping.

this is what I like right now. click the links to get more info. don't steal them from me too, please.

coffee table
end tables

or this set would be nice.

my birthday is october 19----any takers? you'd be in the good book for a long time.

the last couple of days salon.com has been running this series of articles about what it's like to be "young" today versus in the past-what are lives are like, what it's like to deal with each other, how our sexual relationships are different from those in the past.....blahblahblah. but's a good read. better than porn.


here's a link to the first in the series

I had a dream last night where I was Ted Beck (formerly of MarketingBridge) and the building was being filled with water, like it was sinking.

also I stopped by my Aunt and Uncle's house in Champlin-my Aunt Maryann like to go to garage sales and stuff and she found these really kick ass lamps for my condo. They're these vintage solid brass jobs-they totally go with my decor. They totally enhance the couch, the wood trim on the walls, all that. All I need now is a nice old coffee table, a few end tables, and someone to paint my walls :-).

feelings of self doubt dropping, dropping, so that's good.

it's been a shitty week so far. I'm suffering from a major case of self-doubt about my abilities both professional and personal.

In my professional capacities I'm having a great deal of trouble being interested in what I'm doing and I feel somewhat smited for being the lowest man on the totem pole. And it feels like some people are almost hostile to me on an almost personal level. Like yesterday when after 3 people stopped my my cube and asked me if I was going to get this component of a site done (which I did, within my own estimates by the way). By the last person I just came out and asked them if they thought I wasn't....they seemed somewhat suprised by my query and they had a nice diplomatic answer. I guess the reason they thought I wasn't going to get it done was I had to make some minute architectural changes within the existing site to get what they wanted to work (which I might add they failed to plan for, though it's their job). The other thing is, if people don't like the way I work why don't they give me an actual employee review? I've been screaming for one for the last year, and in that document they could highlight my problems. Of course, if it felt that it was bad overall, I might just quit and go be a bartender somewhere or something.

And on a personal abilities, I feel like I'm not as well liked ( or respected ) as I once thought. Because I guess I can be kind of goofy. I guess I know on a conscious their friendship isn't that important, because it's unequal. So if these people don't like me, then that's ok. I'll just stop emailing them or inviting them over. But it really bugs me because for some reason the validation of these people is important. Why?



Oh, on a happy note the date of my party is scheduled for Saturday Sept 28th, to start around 9pm. I'm making this really kick ass bbq chicken, I'll have the brew, I'll have the plates and spoons and forks, and I'll have the party room/pool/sauna. If anyone is interested, email me at yahoo.com, username is mwkohout. I'm hoping a lot of babes will show up. It'd be good for my ego.

I can't sleep tonight-so I decided to go to Perkins with Joe. He went out with these people from his work to the 90s. Afterwards, we met up at a Perkins in St. Paul. I guess his girlfriend dumped him because he didn't want to move in with her (to be honest, she's a really horrible mooch-she really wanted him to move in to defer her costs). I guess this wasn't even something even discussed before.

So anyways we meet at Perkins. He tells me his sob story. He tells me of these girls he just met. He tells me his (now) ex-girl doesn't want to be an ex anymore (she pulled this little stunt on Sunday morning, fyi). So he asks me if he should forget her little mistake and take her back. I say no, that there really isn't a future with this girl, that ultimately she's just trying to use him, and that he shouldn't go over to her place after we leave perkins. I explain that I don't think it was unacceptable for her to ask him to move in, but it was unfair to hinge this to the continuation of their relationship (a kinda young relationship at that-about 4 months or so). After all that he decides he's going to go over to her place (she invited him over) and get the last fuck then leave her spare key on the dresser. I think it's a bad idea. But oh well.

Now I'm kind of tired so I'm going to sleep. I'll update the whole situation with the cousin wedding on Saturday later today.

last night I had a dream where my dog died......really vivid.

tomorrow is my cousin's wedding. I'm kind of bummed-I'm not taking anyone so I know I'll just end up sitting around with my Uncles and my Father, talking about the same old crap, listening to the same old stories, the same old jokes (I think he "duck joke" is still a real knee-slapper for some of them)......

my sister wants me to leave after the wedding to go hang out with her and one of her old friends(Kelly--the girl who was up at my Aunt and Uncle's cabin 4th of July weekend). That may be better-we'll see. Both of them are kind of reckless (yet still, while being reckless my sister is boring. Don't know how she does it) and that kind of frustrates me.

I'm giving my cousin a set of salt and pepper shakers. They'll eat it up.

I had a school dream last night. I was in the book store at St John's, looking at a classes books trying to decide if I should enroll. Murph was teaching it, it was a book on the economics of government-Keynesian economics, I think, and how governments use Keynes.

Even in my dream I was fretting because I knew there would be a lot of reading(Murph was famous for assigning 300-400 pages to be read over 2 days)....but I was really excited to do it.

I've been waiting for a sign for when I'd be ready to go back to school...this may have been it. So tonight I'm going to send in my app for St. Thomas.

On a related note St John's called me last night asking for money. Donations. I said I'd think about giving them some. But I don't know if I really feel like it yet.

I got my camera back from the shop (aka Dad, in spare moments at the old post office), so now I'm kind of looking forward to taking some picts.

on an unrelated note, I'm guessing by Dec 1 I could be out of money if I don't get a raise. Who thought I'd work for the same company without a single raise, for a year and a half. Wonder if lil mike c has this problem.

In about 2 weeks, my cousin is getting married. I still need a date. Everyone says that I should try to meet someone there (which I suspect is a nice way of saying "Don't invite us to your cousin's crappy wedding") but I don't want to.

Anyway, I went to the YMCA last night-it's the first time I've actually gone to the gym vs going bikeriding or rollerblading in a couple months. It was nice, kinda. I'm hoping I can take care of the gut before the wedding so I look all hot in my 6 year old suit (which I still fit, after an alteration :-) ).

I'm going to go back tonight I think. It's a cheap way to entertain myself.

Last night was the first night this weekend that I've slept at my place. I've been hanging out a lot with my buddy Matt Michels-who tomorrow morning is going home to Guam for three weeks. Friday night I helped him buy a portable MP3 player (he wanted the iPod but I talked him down to something that was $150 less and could hold twice the amount of data)....we did that until like 4am and I slept on his floor.

The next morning I told him he owed me $75 dollars more because I spent the night. And that my pimp would beat the shit out of me if I didn't bring it to him. That night, we went grocery shopping and watched "Entrapment". I fell asleep on the couch, right as Catherine Zeta Jones and Sean Connery were about to start their final mission. I'd like to see the ending sometime-it seemed like an ok movie.

Yesterday, I slept until 2pm then I got up and went on a bike ride. 20 miles or so-I went around Calhoun and Harriet a couple of times. I like the new rims so far. Then Joey called and we went and saw "Undisputed" with Wesley Snipes and Ving Rames. OK movie, but the leading characters seemed really one dimensional (especially Snipes'). Considering the story occurred in prison, and both men had been convicted of pretty heinous crimes(Snipes-murder, Rames-rape) , the movie totally failed to expose some of the men’s vulnerability, their shame (Rames managed to expose this a little bit), or their fear.

After we saw the movie, Joey and I went over to Matt’s place where Zack, Angie, Sarah, and Matt were. And we watched some of the “Lord of the Rings”. I left home right before the climatic battle where Aragon dies.

Today I’m going to go on another ride. Then eat at my parents.